THE THINK TANK

This page is an experiment.  Fred Desjardins is a close friend whose quirky sense of humor I have always admired. He helped me clarify and prepare my humor-writing workshop, and although we haven't seen each other in many years (we live in distant cities) we keep in close touch via e-mail.

Fred doesn't have a website, but he had what I thought was a wonderful idea, so I'm giving him some space here. Enjoy!

Bobbi

SPECIAL NOTE: November 15 is I Love to Write Day. 
See: http://www.ilovetowriteday.org/

The sky is falling, the sky is falling! Or is the earth rising? In either case, it was a bad idea to add a second storey to my house.

My name is Fred Desjardins and I sell words for money. I sit in front of my computer and peck out things that make rich people send me cash. The weird thing is that everyone starts with a million free words. The trick is to figure out how to arrange them.

SO WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME!!!!  you may ask.

I'm looking for two things. Smart people who are funny and funny people who are smart. If Mensa desperately wants you but a pie in the face leaves you cold then I don't want to hear from you. And if you routinely set your shorts on fire but think that Myanmar is a damn fine covering for your dining room table then take a pass.

But if you're both funny and smart then I'll publish you in this space. I, certainly, won't pay you but nobody will until you develop a reputation. And you won't make a dime without a reputation. I busted my hump (fortunately I was a hunchback) in the early years for nothing more than beer money.

So only selected submissions will be published on this site.  However, I will personally reply to all entrants.  This site is for aspiring humor writers and no submission will go unanswered.  Also, I will, on occasion, post my own work in an effort to stir debate.

Of course, I know you're asking yourself, “Well, who is going to decide if I'm both smart and funny?” I want you to know that I've been agonizing about this question for the longest time. Assuming that you consider 90 minutes to be a long time. And I've come up with the ideal arbiter, ME. For no other reason than I make money at this and you don't.

Here's a sample from my own work, ruminating on the very real nightmare of sky-rocketing gas prices:

“The lease on my '04 Echo runs out next May and the dealer sounded mighty depressed when I told him that I'm going to buy it out.  Runs like a top, saunters haughtily past gas stations, and if it ever breaks down I can put it in my wallet and walk home.”

Send all submissions* to my e-mail address: [email protected] 

SUBMISSIONS TO THIS PAGE WILL BE ADDED REGULARLY.  
                                                                                    CLICK HERE for the latest additions.

* All submissions remain the property of the author and will not be used for reprint in either print or digital form without the expressed permission of said author.

Note:  This site reserves the right to refuse to print "offensive material."  This includes work that is racist, sexist, obscene, or vulgar.