Crazy Charlie's Song
(NOTE:
This song was written for Charlie's pal,
whom he calls "Terzo
The Terrible"
but Terzo is a lover, not a fighter, and can only imagine
the scenes Charlie has depicted in this epic)
I'm a rough, tough Canuck
Raised in alleys & streets
And howl my war cry
From city canyons and peaks
I'll take any comers
Still foolish to try
My Kung Foo techniques
Upon enemy spies.
Like Kato on Clouseau
I leap from great heights
And frequently miss
But give terrible frights
To my innocent prey
Be they human or canine
Or even dust balls.
Then off to my next ambush feline.
Sometimes, just to scare
I'll pretend I'm asleep
Then shoot up like a flare
With full spin at the top, in mid-air!
Alas, my first human had me declawed.
The second one lopped off my "who-whos."
No wonder I'm crazy and spin in mid-air!
Had you suffered my fate, wouldn't youse?
My third human is nice, but dumb as a dawg..
He still thinks he's the boss, but learns slow;
He can't spin in the air or ambush nothing there
And some cat things he'll just never know!
Crazy Charlie (Heenan)
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