March 7, 2009:

I haven't included any photos in this blog for a while, as we couldn't download any to the new computer until after we got it fixed. It's now working Beautifully (Thank Goodness!) and I can now show you what I've been doing this winter while the windows were to Frosted to Watch the Bird and Squirels.

First of all, you should know that I Hide My Toys in this nifty Tent, then poke my head inside to find what I'm looking for:

My other Current Activity is trying to learn how to Hold a Pencil. You would think that, with Double Paws, this would be Easy for me, but it's taking lots of Practice. The reason why this is Important is because I want to add to Bobbi's shopping list, so she'll remember to buy me another one of those Furry Mice attached to an orange plastic string. I have separated several of these from their strings, but only after spending Many Hours flipping them off the doorknobs where Bobbi hangs them.

Then I play with The Mouse, carrying him from room to room, sometimes depositing him on The Bed, or suprising her in the bathroom by carrying him in there, onto the Laundry Hamper, and then batting him onto the floor at her bare feet.

Eventually, I begin to pull the Fur Coat off the mouse, but I won't offend any of your Sensibilities by describing this in detail. Instead, you can read the complete description at:   How to Kill a (Toy) Mouse.

Meanwhile, here I am trying to add Fur Mouse on Orange String to the shopping list:

March 2, 2009: 

I've been Terribly Busy getting my MEWSical Society ready for its official Launch. I have PURRsonally selected all the members, making sure there are several from the Ottawa Humane Society, because that's where Bobbi adopted me, as well as from Far Away, including such locations as Greece, California, and the Northwest Territories. I made sure several of the cats were black, to honor our Company Logo. Simon I was completely black, while Simon II (Tiki) had a tiny white locket on his chest. But the only Black & White cat is Yours Truly!

I also wanted to balance our few purebreds with some ferals, other strays, and those who came from Loving Homes. Bobbi says we need to prepare a page of FAQs (I had to ask what that meant) to describe where all the Members come from, so that's One More Chore to add to my list! When do I have Time to Nap?

Meanwhile, as I told you Last Time, some of the cats are Acting Up. (I don't know about Mrs. Doyle, as she is Reluctant to Report any of her shenanigans.) Charlie wants to play the Big Bass Drum (I told him the Percussion Section is Full), and Tulip has learned a New Trick to get the attention of the poet she lives with. Evidently, when Sylvia is reading, Tulips presses down hard on one "arm" of her glasses and flips them off her head. I ought to try that!

But in addition to working on the Society, my Latest Effort has been figuring out how to open the sliding doors. We have lots of them, with closets in the dining room (nothing interested behind those) and in the bedroom (great places to Hide and some sweaters in boxes on the floor that are Warm and Cozy).  But the door I'm really interested in opening is the one between the two parts of the bathroom.

The part where the shower and sinks are was added to the house later, so it has its own Baseboard Heater. When it's cold, Bobbi turns that heater on and Closes the Door to keep the heat in. That's fine with me, but I don't like it when she goes in there after a few minutes and Closes the Door! I give her a few minutes to Lick Herself All Over (I don't understand why humans use water and soap), and then I bang on the door to tell her to open it and Let Me In.

Of course the water is still running and if she hears me, she Doesn't Respond. When she finally opens the door, I march in to take My Place on the hamper, watch her dry off (Humans are So Inefficient!) and wait for her to minister to My Needs. This is the time when, if I'm Lucky, she'll brush me, or if I'm Not So Lucky, she'll brush my teeth.

One evening I managed to Get the Door Open by Myself! But I don't remember exactly how I did that, so I have to keep trying. Stretching up to reach the handle doesn't seem to Accomplish Anything, and although she keeps telling me to Use my Paw, I'm not sure exactly what I'm supposed to do.

This is Very Embarrassing, because she keeps reminding me that Tiki was able to open All the Sliding Doors  before the age of two.

February 22, 2009:

Good grief! Send the computer in for some routine maintenance (removing a Trojan, whatever that is) and the cats go wild! Did they think we weren't going to use the old computer to keep track of things?

First, Bailey and Cuddles tried to sneak into the kitten chorus. While Noel Russo was at school (she's in grade four), Bailey climbed into one of her doll dresses, found another one for Cuddles, and sent off the photos. I suspect she had some human help with that part, but Noel's mom is mum.

We had to enlist Big Bertha to scold them, but in the meantime, Tyler was petitioning Tango to join the Purring Chorus in addition singing tenor.

Then there's Nat the Brat. She finally sent photos, but insists we use the one of her investigating one of David Lennick's old turntables. She wants to be our disc jockey in addition to singing obbligato. No, no, no! We will not allow any discs to be spun (or scratched) in our MEWSical Society! Spinning is for balls and yarn, and scratching only for scratching posts. And That's Final!

This blog has been mentioned on many other blogs, including the one linked to the website of NEXUS, Canada's famous percussion group. They've toured Australia, New Zealand, Asia, Brazil, Scandinavia, Europe, and was the first Western percussion group to perform in China. A recipient of the Banff Centre for the Arts National Award & the Toronto Arts Award, NEXUS  was inducted into the Percussive Arts Society Hall of Fame in 1999, just before celebrating their 30th anniversary season. They regularly tour Canada and the U.S., and Bobbi was in the audience the last time they were in Ottawa, a few years ago. 

Our connection with them goes back to the first Simon Teakettle. He used to request their music on the old RSVP program on the CBC, hosted by David Lennick. In 1984, Bobbi was asked to assemble a group of square dancers for the finale of a Gala at the National Arts Centre for the Premier of China. The roster of stars was impressive, and included the Canadian Brass and NEXUS. Both groups were invited after the show to meet Prime Minister Trudeau and the Chinese Premier, along with the directors of the larger groups.

Square dancers wear badges, but because Bobbi wasn't representing a specific club, but rather the entire dance community, she wore her “company” badge, with her name and Simon Teakettle Ink. Both members of NEXUS and Canadian Brass recognized the name and mentioned how much they appreciated Simon's requests.

Of course Tiki (Simon II) and I have continued the tradition, on various CBC music request programs over the past 28 years.  When we discovered one of my kitten photos was on the NEXUS blog, we e-mailed them, and have now sent them the article Bobbi wrote about the Ziyang Gala. Check out their blog at:
http://www.nexuspercussion.com/members/

We have lots of CDs by both Canadian Brass and NEXUS, and I learned to play percussion by listening to NEXUS. Even though Bobbi has refused my Request for a Xylophone!

February 13, 2009:

Our latest member of the Society has suggested a modification to our name: Terzo's Virtual MEWSical Society.

I think that's brilliant, and want to thank Sammy Teakettle Olson (who was named after Tiki) for that wonderful idea. Sammy is joining us from Thunder Bay, Ontario, with his brother, Rufus. Sammy will be in the alto section, while Rufus will sing soprano.

Aimee has reminded us that her full name is  GP Sinaye's Plaisir d'Amour of Ajolie. She explains that she wouldn't have brought that up if Natasha hadn't insisted that we use her full name: Natasha II The Black Russian. 

Natasha is addressed as Tashy at home in Pickering, but referred to as Nat the Brat when she misbehaves, which, we are led to believe, is quite often. She lives with David & Donna Lennick in Pickering, Ontario. David is the former host of the CBC radio network program, RSVP, in the early 80s. It originated from Edmonton, and Simon I was mentioned so frequently that listeners accused David of creating a mythical cat. But Simon was actually writing letters from Gatineau, and as David moved on to host the program from Toronto, they kept in touch. David then moved to a new program, Night Camp, which was on from midnight to 1am weeknights, and Simon was his annual Hallowe'en night guest.  If it weren't for this close connection with the Lennicks, Nat the Brat might not have been invited to join the choir.

Meanwhile we've had an Important Message from Big Bertha, the Leader of the Kitten Chorus.  She writes:

I can see from the photos that the Kitten Chorus has the potential to run amok if not handled firmly. Fortunately, I'm purrfect for the part, having gained a wealth of experience with a somewhat high-handed sister whose ego frequently leads her astray.
With regard to uniforms, Terzo, I implore you to reconsider your decision to dispense with them altogether by making an exception for the kittens who might not find singing in and of itself enough to grip their interest. I find that a chance to dress up is a sine qua non of kittenhood and should not be stifled. I offer this suggestion in all humility and will, of course, accept your final word without further demur.   Sincerely, Big B.

Since I loved to dress up when I was a kitten, I decided Big Bertha was right. So Kittens will be allowed to Dress Up if they wish.

Which reminds me. Any members of the MEWSical Society who want to send new photos may do so at any time. I'll be happy to replace your current photo with a new one if you send us an Attachment.

We've already been mentioned in several blogs, and Aimee has put us on Facebook. We just added my photo in my Band Uniform as well.  We're going to add a list of Favorite Cat Blogs on the Cat Resources page, so if you have one you want us to consider, do send it

February 11, 2009:

The Simon Teakettle Virtual Musical Society is now a reality, and we are close enough to capacity that auditions will close soon. We still need sopranos, and will continue to accept members of the Kitten Chorus, because we believe all kittens need training!

Do check the page, as new photos are being added regularly.

Our descriptive title is Plenty of Paws and a Flurry of Feathers, and The Top Brass include:

Yours Truly, Simon Teakettle III (Terzo) as the Big Boss, i.e. the Band Leader. In addition to running the Society, I play percussion in the band.

Jazz Hulley, as General Manager. A Maine Coon, Jazz lives with the Production Manager for Mewsings/Musings so she really knows how to Manage Things! Like me, she also has Giant Paws, which make her a superb piano player.

Featured drummer is Mrs. Doyle Pridgeon, a grey parrot who lives in Sooke, B.C. Check the link on the Society page for a video of his drumming talent.

Director of the Chorus is Shooter Stephenson, who has Abyssinian heritage, so she can deal with many different breeds and even other species.

Under Shooter's direction are two Chorus Leaders. Tango Katz Couvrette leads the Senior Purring Chorus from Yellowknife, NWT, and Big Bertha Reardon commands the Kitten Chorus from Ottawa.

Our Publicity Director is Aimee Arden, a Chartreux from Massachusettes. Chartreux are silent, but Aimee has a a Profile on Facebook and a group which numbers more than 500, so she is adept at Getting Attention.

Chorus members include baritones, Bailey & Cuddles Russo, who live in Big Canoe, Georgia, tenors Tyler Coxon and Charlie Heenan, both from Ottawa, and alto Tulip Adams, also from Ottawa.  We have no sopranos, but Natasha Lennick (Nat the Brat) will be joining us shortly, to sing obbligato (I know, I had to look it up, too) from Pickering, Ontario. She's a bit of a diva, so it may take her a while to decide which photo is most flattering. 

The Senior Purring Chorus has three members who claim not to be seniors at all, but Like to Purr. Stanley Haskins lives in New York City, and Tuftus and Pookie Hamilton in Montreal. Aimee Arden is also a member of the purring chorus, because she's a Chartreux, and they're a silent breed (can't imagine what that's like!).

Members of the Kitten Chorus come from all the way from Karpathos, Greece, where Jorgito and Yoda Jacobson live with many other cats on this island where their humans run an animal welfare organization.  There are 32 cats and three dogs who actually live in the house.  Karpathos (where animals outnumber people) is located in the sparkling Aegean, midpoint between Crete and Rhodes.

Others in the Kitten Chorus include Darwin and Joey Scott who are new arrivals in Ottawa.

February 6, 2009:  

I didn't go with Bobbi to the Toastmasters' humor club last evening, although I was one of the stars of the event. Laughing Matters is the humor branch of the Ottawa Toastmasters, and one of its members had taken Bobbi's humor workshop last spring, and invited her to speak to the group. That workshop was called "Cat Got Your Tongue?" and was all about how Bobbi helped to make the original Simon Teakettle famous.

Last night she spoke to the Toastmasters about different types of humor writing, and the various techniques they could use to make their jokes and stories more effective.

But many of the questions after her presentation were about Yours Truly! So she promised to return to tell them all about The Incredible Celebrity of Simon Teakettle.

Which brings me to a topic I've been meaning to write about. I've been asked about my writing style, including why I like to Capitalize Important Words, and often refer to myself the same way Tiki did, as "Yours Truly.”

You have to understand that I live with a former English teacher, who sat me down every day when I first arrived from the Ottawa Humane Society with a copy of her book, Five Fast Steps to Better Writing. This would not have been my choice of a book to read! She first taught me to recognize letters and their combinations just as you do with babies, by giving me alphabet books featuring my favorite things. So A was for Ant, B for Bobbi, C for Cat, E for Eat, and F for Fur.

But I soon graduated to reading whatever was on her lap or the computer screen, and she insisted that I had to digest Five Fast Steps to Better Writing before she would allow me to write any e-mails or letters of my own.

Do you know how complicated English grammar, spelling and punctuation are? And how boring for a kitten who would much rather spend his time watching birds at the feeders, seeing if my food dish is full, or napping in the sun?

But I dutifully digested its contents, although I decided I should take some liberties with the rules.

Especially when it comes to Capitalization. It's how I exercise my Creativity.

January 29, 2009:  

I can't believe a whole month has passed since I last wrote. Blame it on another ice storm (just a few weeks after the 21st anniversary of the ice storm that hit this area in 1998), ongoing computer problems (which I don't pretend to understand), and my hard work forming a new musical group.

We'll be launching the Simon Teakettle Virtual Musical Society, informally known as Plenty of Paws and a Flurry of Feathers,  in the next few weeks, recruiting participants not only from Canada and the U.S., but some other countries as well. It will be led by Yours Truly, of course, with Jazz Hulley as our General Manager and Mrs. Doyle Pridgeon as our featured drummer. Her position in our old band had to be changed because she doesn't sing very well but loves to drum on her cage and dishes. She sent a neat video, which we'll be posting soon. Note her red tail feathers, whose pigments are unique to parrots and are called psittacofulvins (more information that you probably needed to know).

The Musical Society will include a feline chorus, a Kitten Chorus, and a Senior Emeritus Purring Group, which will be led by Tango Katz, a grey tabby who lives in Fort Smith, the North West Territories.

Stay tuned; a full roster of members (with links to their photos) is coming soon.

Meanwhile, I don't want to ignore the fact that January is Cat Dental Care Month. I've come to accept having my teeth brushed, which is Very Important because indoor cats can't clean their teeth by chewing bones, as cats do in the wild. Tiki wrote an article on the subject of grooming (both cat and human habits) which is one of the most popular pieces in Mewsings/Musings. It's called Grow Your Own Fur Coat, and although I've read it several times, I still don't understand how humans behave when it comes to keeping themselves clean.

But I'm gradually catching up to Tiki in my trick repertoire. I have finally learned Leave it there, which is a Very Difficult command to master. It means I have to leave my paw on the palm of her hand, right beside the treat, and not touch the treat until she says, Good boy. I also respond to Sit up nicely, which means I have to sit back with both paws raised. I wonder what else she has planned?

But before I learn any more tricks, I have to get my new Musical Society up and running. 

Watch This Space!

January 8, 2009:

We had another blizzard this week. I love to watch the snow fall, and noticed today that there were quite a few small birds braving the wet flakes and cold temperature to snitch sunflower seeds from the squirrel feeder on our maple tree, even picking up some of the fallen seeds underneath. I guess the squirrels don't mind, because I didn't see any out there objecting.

The sunflower “house” on the maple tree in the back yard  is for the family of black squirrels who nest high in the branches. But every Tuesday morning, a pair of cardinals come to feed there. The male seems to know that the feeder is filled on Monday evenings, and he arrives, samples the fare, and then calls his Lady, who then joins him.

We have smaller birds at the front feeders, which are just outside the office window where I have wonderful carpeted shelf. In the winter black-capped chickadees arrive. I read that they're very friendly, and can be called by whispering “Pish, pish, pish, pish.”

I'm practising that, but I don't think cats can make a “p” sound. If there's a speech therapist reading this, please contact me, and tell me how.

Something else I'm practising is how to use my paws more efficiently. I like to play with plastic straws, and find it lots of fun to push them under a closed door and then try to fish them out again. Sometimes, if I'm unsuccessful, I run around to the other side to get it, but that's Cheating!

I'm also trying to figure out how to open sliding doors. I can easily get one of my Big Paws in the crack, but am not sure how to push it open enough to get my whiskers through. You do know, don't you, that a cat uses his whiskers to determine if a space is large enough for his head to pass through safely?

You don't read about cats who get their heads caught in the rungs of a chair, like little kids sometimes do!

January 1, 2009:

Happy New Year!  

We spent some of the holidays watching TV. I usually nap on Bobbi's lap when she watches the programs she likes, as I have little interest in people talking. But I paid close attention for a couple of things we watched together.

One was the documentary, “March of the Penguins.” Those guys wear black and white tuxedos, just like I do, and I liked to see them flap their wings!

Then we watched the Animal Planet “cat-sitter” video that came from the Cat Writers Association in the “goodie bag” they sent Bobbi. This DVD started with chickens, which didn't interest me much, but I really likes the part with the squirrel and the long sement showing all kinds of birds. There were also sections showing a bunny (boring!), lizards, fish, and kittens playing with some of the same toys I have.

Here's a photo of me, watching the birds:

December 28, 2008:

What a Christmas we had!  It actually started on December 23rd, when our friend, the Najaks, arrived to wish Bobbi Happy Birthday. They brought presents for her and Three Big Jingle Balls for me! I've had small jingle balls, but these three are Huge, and I started to play with them immediately.

Then, on Christmas Eve Bobbi let me open my present from her. One thing in the bag was a new container of cat grass, but much  more interesting is a new toy I haven't fully investigated yet. It seems to have flying feathers on the ends of plastic arms that spin around and also wobble back and forth. Fascinating!

I must admit that last year I didn't understand about Christmas stockings. But I certainly figured that out this year! My stocking was full of wonderful surprises, and I couldn't believe that each time she helped me take something out, another would magically appear!

There were two sponge toys, one cat and one dog, both black and white so the cat really looks like Yours Truly! And a funny little guinea pig. But best of all, there were TWO new furry mice! One is on an orange plastic string, like the one I used to have which has been sadly reduced to a skeleton (okay, I admit that was My Doing).

Bobbi hung this one on a door knob, and when she woke up Christmas morning she found it on the bed, where I'd brought it during the night to play with.

In the very toe of my stocking was a can of Fancy Feast! So I had a delicious Christmas dinner, just like Everybody Else.

December 19, 2008:

Packages have been arriving, one delivered last Sunday by A Man in a Truck! It was a pretty big box, and before Bobbi even opened it, I could smell the catnip! It contained a black tote bag with the Cat Writers' Association logo on one side and the Cat Fancy log on the other, and I thought it had been sent to me because my photo was in the November issue of Cat Fancy (in the article about women and their cats). So I dove in, pulling out a cloth catnip toy which I immediately took into another room before Bobbi could retrieve it.

But Bobbi told me the bag was a gift from the CWA to volunteers who worked for the organization all year but weren't able to get to the conference. I think that's a great idea. I can get all the "goodies" given out by conference sponsors without having to spend a lonely weekend without her. I don't like it when she's out all day and evening, which she does occasionally, and last year when she went to Chicago for a Whole Week, I was terribly lonesome. I didn't have anyone to cuddle up with at night. Stuffed animals are no substitute!

I noticed Bobbi took other things out of the bag to put into my Christmas stocking, and some into hers as well. There were a few things that didn't fit, including a big wall calendar called Urban Tails, which features photos of homeless cats. The May cat looks a lot like me, and reminds me how lucky I was to be adopted.

There were also beautiful cat cards, postcards, and big stickers to put on your wall. I'll have to describe everything to you in greater detail next week.

But meanwhile, there are presents piled under our stockings! Bobbi won't let me touch them, but I've been rubbing my fact against them to leave my scent, so that nobody else can claim them. I hope there are new toys for me, because I'm getting bored with the old ones.

Bobbi's birthday is December 23rd, so we will have three solid days of celebration (and three days of birthday cake!). Tiki managed to persuade her to let him open some of his presents on her birthday, because he didn't understand why she got to open gifts then but he had to wait two more days.  I have a little stocking as well as a big one, so Bobbi promised I can open the small one on her birthday.

I know Christmas is often a Big Feast for some cats, but I don't eat people food (I make an exception for ice cream!) so the turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce won't tempt me. However, I did see a can of Fancy Feast on the counter, so expect that will be my special treat next week. I haven't had any since the Bad Vet put me on a diet.

December 7, 2008:

The snow has been falling all day, and I'm beginning to realize that Christmas is coming. I'm not sure I understand what all this is about, but when Bobbi brought out our Christmas stockings, I remembered that last year some neat toys and things came out of mine. I also understand that some choice additions will be arriving soon from the Cat Writers' Association.

They send members who have volunteered in key positions over the past year but are unable to attend the annual conference, a package of "goodies." Last year, we received a handsome tote bag with the CWA log on one side and Cat Fancy's logo on the other. Since Bobbi and I just appeared in the November issue of Cat Fancy, this is most appropriate.

In addition to my previous plea for a real mouse for Christmas, I've added another gift to my Letter to Santa. Evidently Hasbro makes a group of stuffed toys called Furreal Friends, and Biscuit, My Lovin' Pup, described in the ad as "a realistic, life-size golden retriever,"  sits up, lies down, and begs.

I used my claws to cut the ad out of the paper, and it now sits on the kitchen table, a reminder to Bobbi to take it to WalMart and add $179.93 to her MasterCard bill.

What am I giving her for Christmas? First I have to figure out what to do for her birthday, which is December 23rd. I'm sending a request into the CBC, as usual, and am trying to learn a new trick, although this isn't easy to do without her participation. Any suggestions?

November 29, 2008:

You may notice we haven't posted many photos on the blog lately. That's because we're having trouble inserting photos on this new computer. But Bobbi is still taking pictures, and expect some to appear here soon!

There are a couple of exciting things to report this week. On Thursday, Bobbi was at a local mall where the Ottawa Humane Society had a table of crafts for sale. She stopped to chat (bought a cute little purse made from a man's tie, with a cat button closing) and gave the women taking the money a Mewsings bookmark. One of the women gasped in delight. She remembered hearing Simon Teakettle on the CBC many years ago. Bobbi assured her that Simon Teakettle is still very much alive, although in his third incarnation (as Yours Truly), and was adopted from the Ottawa Humane Society!

Another thing that harkens back many years is Bobbi's association with the singer/actress Holly Larocque. Bobbi directed Holly's one-woman show at the National Arts Centre in 1981, and kept in touch with Holly over the years as she appeared on the CBC's Under the Umbrella Tree (later syndicated on Nickelodeon), and then Homes by Design.

For the past few years, she's developed a wonderful stage show called The Big Band Broadcast. This was presented in Ottawa, filmed for the CBC, and has been touring for several months each year. Holly and her husband Paul, who acts as The Announcer on the simulated broadcast of a World War II-era show, have been in California, Washington and Oregon with the Mark Ferguson Big Band.

We just received our copy of Holly's first CD (it's about time she produced one!), and Bobbi will be seeing her at a special ACTRA 50th celebration next week, where Holly will be awarded a Lifetime Membership. 

November 21, 2008:

Bobbi suggests it's time for me to talk about VOCABULARY. Now that I'm fully-grown (the equivalent of 21 human years), one would assume that I've reached the limit of words I can understand. But that's not true. Cats, dogs, and other animals can keep learning new commands and tricks all the time. Tiki (the Magnificent) learned a new trick every year, so that when he died, at age 19, he had a huge repertoire of behaviors he performed on command.

Don't expect me to match that! Frankly, I don't know how he did it. Evidently, he was hyper-active and slept very little. Not me! I sleep most of the night on the bed with Bobbi (getting up occasionally to play with one of my favorite mice, which I sometimes bring onto the bed for her to discover in the morning) but I take a morning nap, an afternoon one, and stretch out on her lap in the evening if she's home.

But that doesn't mean I'm lazy. Bobbi made a list of all the words and phrases I understand. They range from single words:
           food      treats     drink     brush     paw    sit    toy    television  mouse 
                                                  to combinations:   nice birdie      squirrel friend     scratchy board    Bobbi's kitty
to phrases that require some action on my part:
           give me your paw      the other paw      good boy      get it     
Excuse me means I have to get off her lap so she can get up,
           leave it there is what she says  means when she puts a treat in her palm and I have to put my paw there and leave it
                    sit up nicely doesn't count unless I refrain from grabbing for the treat
I respond to several different come commands:  come here, come to bed, and come on my shoulder (her favorite spot for me to curl up at night).

There are words Tiki knew that I don't understand yet. He knew the difference between ball, snake (his favorite toy), and straw, but these aren't important to me, because I'm not very interested in balls (too much energy to chase them!).  They're all just toys to me.

He also responded to a few words Bobbi uses a lot, which I pretend not to understand, such as No! and Get Down!  I do know what naughty means. That elicits a particular look from me (a bit puzzled, only slightly chastised), and I always respond to good boy or good kitty.

I know what stay means, but haven't figured out why just a few seconds doesn't count as compliance!

I learned my name very quickly, within a few hours of arriving in this household. I recognized immediately that Terzo meant something special, and I just love when she uses my full name: Simon Teakettle Terzo. 

One of the key differences between cats and dogs is that dogs obey blindly. I think they actually feel guilt. Cats, on the other hand, don't follow a direction unless it makes sense to them, and they feel like doing that particular thing at that time. Every cat has the ability to ignore anything they don't want to pay attention to. Just watch a cat turn away from a child trying to tease him, or walk away in disdain from something unsuitable (like those cardboard pellets that pass for diet food!) in the bowl.

I also communicate with her, of course, not just by meows when I want my food dish filled and purrs when I'm happy, but also scoldings when I need to draw her attention to something wrong. When she prepared for the piano tuner to come, she moved all the books off the top of the piano to one of the couches in the living room. I objected loudly, even though I don't usually nap on that couch. I just didn't like the idea that *my* couch was not available! Tiki used to remind Bobbi to turn on the Christmas lights when he saw the other homes lit up, but we now have those on timers, so that's something else I don't need to learn.

I've been experimenting with a new ploy. If she gives me treats early enough in the evening, I sometimes return later and pretend I don't remember. This hasn't worked so far, but I intend to keep trying!

Meanwhile, I continue to ignore No! when I want to investigate what's behind the computer, and Get Down! when I jump on the coffee table. I hear you, Bobbi dear, but those words just aren't in my vocabulary!

November 17, 2008:

Fame, the Musical, opened this week at Centrepointe Theatre in Ottawa. A delightful production of the 102-year-old Orpheus Musical Theatre Society, it features an energetic cast of talented youngsters, many of which will likely go on to stellar professional careers.

Although my company, Simon Teakettle Ink, has been a patron of Orpheus for more than 30 years, none of the Simons has ever been allowed into the theatre.

That may be changing.

Yesterday, before the show, Bobbi chatted with Orpheus President, Marlene Hudson. She plays trombone in the pit orchestra, with her husband, Drum, conducting (they often switch roles, with Marlene conducting and Drum playing trombone). You should know that Drum is unflappable. This is the 20th Orpheus show where's he's served as Musical Director, and nothing rattles him, not even an ice storm which once had several of his musicians arriving just minutes before the show started.

But opening night of Fame presented a special challenge. Evidently there was a MOUSE in the house! As Marlene described it to me, the little grey mouse ran along the orchestra railing, stopped directly in front of Drum, and stood still for a moment, watching him wave his baton (everybody's a critic!). Then the mouse continued to the end of the railing, and disappeared.

They came very close to calling on my services.

I wonder if that's why MY Stuart Little hasn't shown up here since I saw him last?  Maybe he's become an Orpheus fan...

November 7, 2008:

The past couple of weeks have been very busy in this household! Bobbi kept fiddling with the new computer, and said I couldn't write anything until she fixed whatever was wrong. I have no idea how these things work, so was unable to help. I did, however, provide moral support by coming into the office every few hours to remind her that there are some things that are more important than computers. Food, for example. Not only does she give me a very small amount every time I beg her to fill my bowl, but she insists on including those tiny, tasteless pellets from the bag that says "weight management" on the label.

We've also been preoccupied with the U.S. election, as we watched all the debates and comments over the past month. Bobbi sometimes makes popcorn to eat while she watches television, and it's the only "people food" that interests me at all. She lets me have a few pieces, which I play with first, and then finally nibble.

Speaking of TV, we watched a fascinating program on PBS about Australian parrots. That gave me a new appreciation of my pal, Mrs. Doyle.

And we had our first snowfall of the season, unusually early, which kept me watching closely from the bay window that overlooks the front yard and the driveway. I'd forgotten about snow! It didn't last long, however, and we've just had a lovely week of Indian summer. I don't go outside, but enjoy having the front door open, so I can sit in the full storm panel and look out on the porch.

I promise to be more faithful about adding to this blog. I'm assembling a list of my complete vocabulary, which is pretty extensive for a two-year-old cat. Stay tuned!

October 15, 2008:

Somebody wrote to me about my Oct. 7 message, to ask how I plan to dispose of the mouse poop if I'm allowed to adopt my new friend. Excuse me! Of course I'll teach him to use the litter box!

I also mentioned this is the second anniversary of my adoption, and want to tell you more about that. I had been wrenched from my mom and siblings, brought to the Ottawa Humane Society (leading to a continuing fear of traveling in a car), and put into a cage alone.

I spent ten frightening days with noise, confusion, nothing to play with and nobody to cuddle me. At one point, they gave me shots and an operation, then returned me to that lonely wire cage.

Fortunately, somebody decided my cage should be in the lobby instead of in "the cat room." I watched everyone who came into the lobby very carefully, but it took several days before I saw anyone I liked.

One afternoon, Bobbi arrived, and the minute I saw her, I decided she was The One.

I went into my Adorable Act, meowing very softly, reaching through the bars of my cage with my clean white six-toed paws, and tilting my head to one side.

She thinks she chose me, but she was actually looking for an all black cat, like Simon I and II, to fit the company logo. So I had to turn on the charm to convince her that a “black fur tuxedo” could be adorned with white vest, gloves, spats, and even a white scarf draped carelessly at an angle across my back. 

I made sure she never had any reason to doubt her decision. From the very first day, I was very careful about using the litter box, didn't meow too much, and bathed very carefully, several times a day, to keep my fur coat spotless.

If you've read the Cat Facts page, you know that we have much keener senses than humans. I used all of mine (as well as some intuition) to determine that Bobbi has a chronically sore right shoulder, so the very first night, when she went to bed, I took up my position with my head resting on that shoulder. It's still my favorite spot to curl up, and she continues to be impressed with my devoted attention.

October 7, 2008:

I need to enlist your help to persuade Bobbi to allow me to adopt a pet. This month marks the 2nd anniversary of my adoption from the Ottawa Humane Society, but the truth is that she didn't choose ME, I chose HER. And in a similar situation, the pet I want to adopt has selected me to be his protector and friend.

Let me explain. Last year we discovered that a family of mice had taken up residence in the space between the main floor and the ceiling of the basement below it. I never saw the mice, as they were swiftly exterminated.

When Bobbi discovered another family had taken up residence,  our handyman put more poison into the space and announced that the problem was solved.

But just last week, one Brave Little Mouse came up the stairs, clearly deciding that he wanted to share his life with us. Of course I was the one who discovered him. I raced around the living room, poked my paws under the couches, peered under the piano, and monitored baseboards in every other room.

Bobbi was amused (she isn't afraid of mice) but refused to listen to my suggestion that I adopt him.

So I am presenting half a dozen reasons, which I hope you'll agree to support:

1. I'll name the mouse Stuart, hoping that Bobbi will feel guilty because Tiki had asked, TWICE, for Stuart Little for Christmas, and one year he received the video of the movie, and the second year a stuffed mouse toy. It's time I fulfilled Tiki's original request, for a REAL Stuart Little.

2. I would be happy to share my dry food with him, especially the smallest ones (ideal for his tiny mouth) which come from the bag marked "weight-reduction formula." She mixes this with Whiskas and Meow Mix, thinking I don't notice. I DO! The more I share these with Stuart, the better the ratio of Whiskas and Meow Mix for me.

3. He can use my water fountain not only to drink from, but also as a swimming pool. The chute where the filtered water comes into the bowl would make a dandy mouse slide.

4. If he needs additional cleaning, I can certainly provide that. I'm very gentle, as anyone can verify if you take a close look at some of my toys. I have several with large feathers at the end (are they supposed to be birds?) which I wash faithfully, and very carefully. Mrs. Doyle doesn't believe me when I tell her this, but I swear it's TRUE!

5. He could join my BAND! I'm not sure what instrument a tiny mouse could play, but I'm sure I could find something with tiny strings he could run across. Stuart the Strumming Mouse?

6. I turned two last summer. Two in cat years is equivalent to 21 in human years, which means I'm old enough to own a pet. The papers the Ottawa Humane Society asked Bobbi to fill out asked her age, gender, address, etc. but there was no place an adoptive parent had to list SPECIES.  

If you think I've made a sound case, please e-mail your support. Send messages to Yours Truly at: Terzo at SimonTeakettle.com. 

September 18, 2008:

You've read about my pal, Mrs. Doyle, the grey parrot who was born the same week I was, and lives in Vancouver. She and I communicate regularly via e-mail, but her Man (Steve) and my Lady (Bobbi) also chat online. Actually, Steve is the Wonderful Person who helped us get the new computer networked with the old one, along with some hands-on help from our neighbor, Paul, whose youngest son, James, was pictured with me in a previous blog post.

Steve now reports that Mrs. Doyle has a new phrase she repeats whenever the family returns home. If anyone comments on bird seed having been flung from the cage onto the floor, or anything else amiss, Mrs. Doyle says, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I'm just a parrot."

I immediately reminded her that being a cat means never having to say you're sorry!

September 6, 2008:

The vet has put me on a DIET! I wasn't sure what that meant until Bobbi changed my food, cut me off my favorite Fancy Feast canned food completely (yikes!) and let my bowl get almost empty before pouring a very small amount from a measuring cup to replenish it.

I don't think I'm fat at all, and present this current photo as proof:

As you can see, I'm willing to sit on the scale, but I'm certainly not happy about it!

Bobbi keeps trying to get me to play with more of my toys, in an effort to get me to exercise more. I really like the feather toys, which I don't bite, but carefully wash instead (no Simon Teakettle has ever harmed a bird!), but I do think it would be much better if Mrs. Doyle flew here from Vancouver to play with me.

By the way, did you know that grey parrots are as smart as a five-year-old child? If you missed the photo of Mrs. Doyle taking a shower, go to last year's blog (see link above) and scroll down to Feb. 25, 2008. Or just click here.

I still think I get plenty of exercise chasing my collection of mice around the house. I make sure my favorite, which has been reduced to a hollow shell of its former self (literally!) is never out of my reach. I often carry it into the bedroom to play with during the night, and Bobbi finds tiny bits I've chewed off in various other parts of the house. I'll soon have to "dismantle" one of the others. If you aren't disgusted by my technique, check out How to Kill a (Toy) Mouse.

We're having to make a huge adjustment this month, both to the new computer (which has finally been networked, but isn't always behaving the way it should!) and to the loss of our favorite CBC program, Disc Drive. Host Jurgen Gothe has promised to send a mug for our collection (the first one given specifically to me), but that doesn't compensate for the wonderful selection of music and clever commentary by Jurgen's soothing voice. That's been the background for my afternoon nap since I first arrived, almost two years ago, and Bobbi always left it on for me when she went out and even when she went away for a week.

Don't you think it's too much to ask of a kitty to have to adjust to a diet, a new computer, and different music all afternoon - all at the same time?

Sigh...

August 4, 2008:

NEWS FLASH: I'm the August cat at FelineCATCHall again! I think this is "a closed Yahoo group" (whatever that means!) but you can try going to: http://pets.groups.yahoo.com/group/FelineCATchALL/ to see if you can catch me napping on the special pillow a neighbor of Arthur Black embroidered for us after she heard Simon Teakettle on Basic Black, which used to air Saturday mornings on the CBC network.

The past few weeks have been very busy. First of all I have New Job. I am babysitting a goldfish belonging to James, the four-year-old who lives across the street from us. Here's a photo of James when he came to visit me. He needed to check out the premises where his precious Orange would live for three weeks.

When the James came over to deliver the fish tank, he brought his older brother and sister and his mom. That's quite an escort for a Very Tiny Fish. Orange (James is really into food) is no bigger than a bug, and I must admit I was a bit disappointed because he's not that much fun to watch. I was also surprised that he only gets a pinch fish flakes every three days. How will he ever grow bigger on that diet? I wanted to share a few of my munchie-crunchies with him, but Bobbi said that wasn't allowed. Sigh...

Before the children left on vacation, we gave them three little tigers that used to sit on the guest room windowsill. I kept knocking them down in my effort to interact with the squirrels, so Bobbi decided they needed a new home. We gave one each to Simon (evidently he was NOT named after my predecessor), Laura, and James, and asked them to take them to the ocean because they wanted to put their paws in salt water. In return, they will bring us back some seashells for our collection.

I also had a sad task to accomplish this summer. Our favorite CBC radio program, Disc Drive, is going off the air in a few weeks, and they're giving away mugs in return for requests. We've kept in touch with the host, Jurgen Gothe, for many years, and we're really going to miss his show, which plays terrific music of all genres, interspersed with witty comments. Bobbi sent a request, of course, but so did I. Here's my letter to Jurgen:

Dear Jurgen, 

Bobbi has already been to the CBC website and sent a request. But I don't do websites.
And I want a mug of my own!
            You might not realize that Tiki the Magnificent (Simon Teakettle II) had a mug collection. He inherited it from Simon Teakettle I (The Original) who received mugs from the old CBC Radio Show (remember that?), Morningside, the Canadian Authors Association (la de da!), and many fans.
            I inherited the collection when I arrived here in October of 2006, and they were all brought out and used for my First Birthday Party a year ago. Bobbi used the one hand-thrown for her by a local potter, with a tiny cat in relief on the front. This potter also made a Simon Teakettle dish out of which I nibble my "munchie-crunchies."
            But I digress.
            The purpose of this message is to ensure that I receive a Disc Drive mug for my PURRsonal collection. (I don't care if you send one to her).
            Like the previous Simon Teakettles, I'm a fan of piano music, the more pianos the better. Bobbi attended the Steinway anniversary concert in Ottawa a few years ago when there were ten grand pianos on the stage at the NAC (some brought in from Toronto and Montreal), and also the Ottawa Chamber Music concert two summers ago when the Five Browns were joined by a cluster of stellar Ottawa pianists for another multi-piano extravaganza.
            To digress again, did you hear that a caster disintegrated under one of the pianos at a concert at this year's festival, so they couldn't move the piano?
            You played "76 trombones" last week with 76 actual trombones playing at once. So surely you can find a recording with many, many, many pianos! Four doesn't cut it. Even five (the Five Browns) isn't good enough for me.
           This is a challenge! CAT to MAN: are you up to it?
I can't believe these are the last weeks of Disc Drive. How am I going to take my afternoon nap without your mellifluous voice and eclectic musical selections in the background? When she's here, she can put on some CDs, but what happens all those afternoons when she goes out gallivanting and leaves me ALONE?
           I'll have to drown my sorrows in a (hint, hint) Disc Drive mug.
Love & purrs, Terzo
   >^..^<
Simon Teakettle III

 July 11, 2008:

I was so busy celebrating both July 1st and the Fourth of July, I'm just getting around to adding to this blog. I'm still finding it weird to add to the top instead of the bottom, but I've given into Conventional Wisdom (whatever that is!). Here's my photo showing my dual nationality:

This is the photo we used on our summer MEWSletter, which is sent to clients, book suppliers, and other business contacts. If you'd like a copy, just e-mail me (Terzo at SimonTeakettle.com) and we'll send it to you.

I had an exciting afternoon last week. One of the little children who live across the street came over to visit. These three come to our back door frequently, receiving lollypops for bringing in our recycle bin or picking up pine cones from the front lawn, or sometimes just to say Hi. But they usually don't come beyond the back hall.

But last December, when Laura turned five, Bobbi invited her for a "girls only" tea party. I was fascinated, and sat and watched them as they changed the clothes on the teddy bears, drank "tea" out of tiny cups, and ate little cookies and home-made chocolates (the mom who lives across the street often shares the treats she makes).

When James turned four in May, he was ready for his Special Visit. He's such an animal lover that he was content to spend the entire time with me. He petted me, brushed me, gave me treats, and I even sat on his lap.

You can see that we got along wonderfully.

Next it's Simon's turn. I love that he and I have the same name, except that they pronounce his the French way. He was 7 this weekend, and has had not one, but two birthday parties. (That's a hint, Bobbi!)  He'll come over for his visit some afternoon next week.

Meanwhile, I've been writing some new pieces. Here's my latest: How to Play with a Straw. There are only six ideas, as I didn't have time to write more before I had to take another naps. You can't hold me to the same standards as the Professional Journalist in the household!

Oops! I forgot to date my first message on this new blog. So we're calling it:

One day in June, 2008:

Okay, I give in. After writing this blog (with a tiny bit of human help) for the past two years, I'm finally going to accept what all the website designers have told me, and add my latest comments at the top, instead of the bottom. So you don't have to scroll through all the previous postings any more!

There, are you happy now? (You know Who You Are!)

I've been asked how I learned to read and write. Good grief (as Charlie Brown might say), how can you spend 24 hours a day with a compulsive person who is either reading or writing much of the time and not figure out how to do it yourself?

The story of how the Very First Simon learned to write is told in Catastrophe!, the multi-award-winning piece that Bobbi included in the Appendix of Five Fast Steps to Better Writing and again in her side of MEWSINGS/MUSINGS. My introduction to the computer came just as easily. You can see me here, playing with Skippy, my Very Own Computer Cat (from CATZ):
 

As you can seen, when I'm not writing, playing with Skippy I sometimes give a little kiss to my favorite mouse.

My other job is Product Testing. Right now, I'm in the process of determining The Best Spots to Take a Nap. You would have thought I'd have tried all these possibilities in the 15 months I've lived in this household, but when I first arrived, I settled on just a few choice places, and have just begun to explore others.

I used to take my morning nap either on the back of the couch nearest the living room entrance, or the guest room bed, both of which let me keep an eye on Bobbi's activities. In the afternoon, I would either return to the guest room bed or to "our" big bed. My preferred spot for an evening nap, of course, is on Bobbi's lap. If she goes out, I curl up on her chair in the den.

One day last winter, I was looking for a mouse I had lost, and discovered a neat spot behind the extra chair in the den. There's a corner of the room that's ideal for hiding (the mice discovered this before I did!) and then I thought I ought to venture into some other places.

I drove Bobbi crazy with my meowing for more than a week until she realized that the reason why I was on the back of the other couch in the living room was because I was "asking permission" to nap there. She thought I was trying to play with things on the shelf behind the couch. Why didn't she realize that I know better than to do that? There are lots of tiny things on shelves all over this house, some of them fragile and others quite tempting, but I would never touch any of them. I have my own toys to play with!

It also took me a while to realize that the other chair in the den has a comfortable seat I could curl up on, which gives me an alternative if she's not-quite-sitting-down. That's what I call it when she's in the chair, out of the chair to do "just one more thing," then back in the chair again, until it drives me crazy.

Tiki used to go downstairs when he wanted to nap where he wouldn't be disturbed, but I don't like it down there. I go down to use my litter boxes, and will stay and play with the toys down there if Bobbi is doing laundry, or ironing, or working in the sewing room. But I prefer to be where I can hear her and see her. She thought, at first, that I might be afraid of the dark, because I insisted on having a third litter box upstairs. I'm not willing to admit to that!

What do I do Between Naps? I write this blog, of course!

Now I'm finished with this segment, I don't know what to do. I can't use my previous sign-off, "Till the next time I feel like writing," because it will be at the very bottom of the page!

This blog business is Very Odd.

Love & purrs, Terzo